Manuscript improvements

So based on the scientific criticisms I’ve received I went back and tried to rework a few sections of text. I’m happy with the changes because I think they do a good job of being more honest and upfront about the elements of the story that aren’t fully understood. If you have any suggestions or criticisms about these changes or the rest of the manuscript, please share them with me!

…The question remains: “How did it appear?”
and the answer to that question is not fully clear

But somewhere there were atoms, in aquatic suspension,
combining to make molecules without least apprehension,
in countless combinations too many to mention.

With a little bit of help from some source of heat,
geochemical conditions so molecules meet,
and millions of years to rinse, wash and repeat,
our Earth produced something really quite neat.

15
Atoms thrown together in a haphazard dance,
made a primitive life-form entirely by chance.

Some two billion years with a steady tradition,
of natural and constant cutthroat competition.

A beautifully simple and sublime solution:
life made itself through it’s own evolution.

18
All living things now have more than one part
and it’s hard to imagine parts living apart,
so we don’t know for sure which part was the start.
But that doesn’t mean there’s not more to impart.

If you want to pick a part with which life could begin,
you could start with a part that’s always quite thin.

All life to this day has a cellular skin
to keep outsides out and insides in.

The cell is the vessel in which life can contain,
it’s precious existence, within a membrane.

19
Inside of it’s cell, life is happy to reside,
safely protected from what is outside.

This could have been where molecules were tried,
till life chanced upon the first nucleotide.

Of course, please remember it could also be reckoned
that this stuff came first and the cells came second.

We don’t know now and we may never know,
but somehow it happened, so on with the show.

These bits are the base for a chemical code,
that allows information to be easily stowed.

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About jldunbar

An artist and science-enthusiast who loves making books
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